Old Friends

I've finally discovered a use for Facebook. I've been really bored lately because I'm sick (boo, sick friends and fiance!), so lots of pictures on there keep me plenty occupied. Spending a little time (okay, hours) doing this (plus a great conversation about friendship the other day and a call from an old friend) have gotten me thinking about how much my relationships have changed since high school, even the beginning of college. How is it possible for us to really experience friendships online? Sure, connecting with people in emails or blogging is great, but is it really a friendship if all they are is a name on a list? When I was making my wedding invitation list, I went through my Facebook friends. I think it would have been a lot easier to think of the people who are near and dear to me than go through and pick out all the people who I see the most but have never had an honest, real conversation with half them.

In that list, I included some high school friends. Not too many, but some that I either reconnected with in college or who made a real impact on my life then and I felt like they needed to be included. But those friendships just... died out. Why is it that when a friendship is failing, people don't try to fix it? Or at least talk about it? I know people think that DTRs (Defining the Relationship talks) are only for lovey stuff, but seriously, I would love to have had some kind of talk about what was happening. With a few people. I realize friendships end. But why do we have to let it get awkward? What's wrong with saying, "Hey, we've changed, is this something we can honestly make it through?" Some friendships stay surface-level, and those are fun--the people come and go and make life more worthwhile as a result. But what about the ones that really impact your life? Should we really just let those go?

My best friend from high school and I met a few years ago after not seeing or talking to each other for more than two years. When we talked, I think we both felt like we changed too much to reconnect, but neither of us said anything. That's the stuff I'm talking about. I would feel better every time I saw pictures or had a good memory if I knew there was closure.

So, moral of the story: Keep a few friends that will stick with you, know you inside and out and still love you. And for goodness sakes, try your darndest to keep the ones you love close. Just use something other than Facebook.